His grace is always enough…even when you are knocked off your feet

His Grace is always enough, even when you are completely knocked off your feet
 
God has a way of doing things that always seems to surprise me, whether it be blessing or more of a learning session. In this case it is a complete utter surprise to my heart and to my "plan" for my future. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I thought I knew what this verse meant for my life. I thought I knew how my life would look and I thought I knew what I wanted my life to look like. I thought I knew what God had planned for my life. Until God opened my eyes and knocked me off my feet.
 
I have learned more about myself in these last few weeks than I have over the course of a few years. I have learned more about God's grace and His love. I have learned more than ever before that God will and does use you no matter where you are or what you are doing. Whether it be at your job, hanging with a friend, going to the store, or simply spending time with family. I have always known this and usually recognize when He is using His love through me in the everyday stuff but He has magnified it more in the last few weeks in order to teach me and to humble my spirit. My heart has been stretched, broken, restored, and broken again only to then be restored once again by our gracious Father. One of the important things I have learned and have to constantly remind myself is that GOD USES US NOT ONLY IN THE BIG THINGS BUT IN THE SMALL THINGS! Most of us are living our lives just watching the minutes go by and thinking to ourselves how we can't wait for God to use us. But what we fail (ME INCLUDED) to realize He is and can use us in something as simple as smiling at someone, loving on a child, showing support or encouragement to someone. HE EVEN USES US AT OUR JOB! We don't have to fly thousands of miles from home (nothing is wrong with that and I believe it is necessary) or set up a special event for Him to use us. He uses us everyday, every minute, everywhere. Never doubt that. Never think He can't use you. He is…already! This truth has been a hard one for me to let resonate in my heart and mind. I have always thought the best way God will use me is when I am being His hands and feet…in Cambodia. But what I failed to see day in and day out was that He is using me to be His hands and feet in the very spot He has placed me. I am not just Nursery 2's Miss Jen. I am His hands and feet to those many little ones that I have in my care all day long every day. He uses my hands to wipe the tears from their eyes when they miss their mommies and daddies or the food from the hands after eating, He uses my arms to rock and to hug, He uses my hands and eyes to play countless games of peek-a-boo, He uses my legs and lap as a jungle gym or a comfy spot to rest and get loved on, He uses my heart to show His love on all these children and I never never want to forget that or waste a moment He could be using me.
 
That to say I have something to share that will come as much of a shock to some people as it was to me.
After several weeks of praying and then praying some more and wrestling with God I can confidently say that now is not the time God has for me to leave everything and minister in Cambodia. That is not to say I will never go back or that I will never do a long term trip. Now is not God's timing and unfortunately it took a lot of learning, battles, prayers, tears, time, money and support for me to realize this. First I want to say a huge, I know it is not enough, THANK YOU to all who have been reverently praying for me and all who have already sent in financial support!!! The financial support that has been sent in for me will go towards Adventures in Missions and will support other missionaries that are being sent all around the world to be His hands and feet! I am thankful that your donations will still be used to bring the Truth to people everywhere!!! Ultimately that is what this was all about and even though it is not me physically going it will help others go and share so Thank You!!
 
(Due to difficulties signing into my financial account through AIM I have not been able to see who has given financially and I am truly sorry! I am working on being able to get that information!)